Blogging is so daunting for me! I need to get into a regular habit, but I don't really have ANY regular habits these days! I'd feel bad if blogging won out over habitually keeping the house clean or habitually waking up every day at six!
And thus the title of this blog.
Discipline.
I need it. I want it. I've always had a glimmer of it, but only JUUUUUSSSSTTT enough to get me by. And that JUUUUUUSSSSSTTTT got me by as a single woman...doesn't quite cut it for marriage. (I'm making a list for me right now, so feel free to skip it.)
~Erik is trying to get our lawncare business off the ground.
~I haven't finished my wedding thank-you's. (Krista, you're the only reason I've done any!)
~We're planning to move into a different apartment in six weeks and have to have everything sorted, packed, and cleaned.
~I NEED consistent, daily, structured quality time with Jesus every day. Preferably mornings.
~I NEED to work out at least five days a week in order to sleep better at night and just feel better over all!
~I'd love to write more worship songs. Erik would love to do this with me.
~We operate best on a day by day meal plan that I prepare once a week and shop for once a week. This way Erik gets to eat real meals, and I feel like I'm taking care of our nutrition needs to some extent. I think this has successfully happened three times.
~We are meeting three out of four Thursday nights per month to plan and practice for Overflow.
~Erik is hoping to have his hours at the church increased, which means our schedule will become MORE busy and I'll likely help him lead worship for the kiddos, in addition to whenever we're asked to lead Sunday mornings for the big kiddos.
~There are at least thirty people in Topeka that I want to spend time with more frequently than once every six months. Right now, most friends are on a loose sort of rotation, and I end up feeling guilty for hanging out with the same person two nights in a row. (Not counting Erik!)
~My parents are renovating their house, and Erik and I have committed to helping them as much as possible through the process.
Okay, I'm tired of the list. My point is, I have a lot of things and people in my life that are vying for my time, and I need all the discipline I can get to even BEGIN to tackle this list. I truly believe that God has given me all of the time I need to do the things HE wants me to do. That means some of the things on this list are either going to have to go, or they all stay and I develop some structure, planning, and scheduling into my life...and then stick to it! That last sentence hurt even to type!
Where do I begin?
Proverbs 31:10-30 As it applies to me.
10-Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies.
11-Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. (Love this!)
12-She will not hinder him but help him all her life. (Let it be so!)
13-She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. (I put flax seed in my bread. Does that count?)
14-She is like a merchant's ship; she brings her food from afar. (I'm not sure exactly what this means, but I picture her buying in bulk. :) Any other ideas?)
15-She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls. (Why she's making breakfast before dawn when she has servant girls is beyond me! But, in all seriousness, I can't imagine how much more I could accomplish if I got up a couple of hours early every day!)
16-She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. (Business savvy! Erik and I have been talking about me doing some massage on the side or baking for the coffee shop to earn some extra cash. I love that the virtuous and capable wife doesn't go shopping with her money she earns. She invests it! I also don't love that because I like shopping.)
17-She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. (I HAVE to eat right and exercise regularly in order to be energetic and strong. It's difficult to exercise after a day of walking 5-8 miles delivering coffee...but I really have to!)
18-She watches for bargains; her lights burn late into the night. (Bargain shopper! Guess I'll have to try Aldi again. I'm confused about the second part since Psalm 127:2 calls it vanity to rise early and stay up late! He gives His beloved sleep...but how much? Insights anyone? I don't have a commentary in front of me!)
19-Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. (This reminds me of Joie's blog about making the diaper covers and doll tights! I'm not there yet. I think the point is, she's working to provide what is needed for her household when it can't be bought or doesn't have to be bought!)
20-She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. (This hits me where it counts. I want to be generous, focused on the poor and needy, and hospitable to anyone, whether friend, family, or stranger. I can't do this WELL when my house is not in order, sufficient food for meals is not in the cabinets, and I'm too frazzled from lack of order to be able to look around me to see the people God wants me to see. I realize my house and food don't have be in perfect order in order to be hospitable, but I want to do it WELL!)
That's probably already too much for me to digest in one night, so I'll leave it at verse 20. Funny how many times I've read this chapter, and either not applied it... or not applied much of it for long! It really is a step by step guide, though, when we plug our individual, unique lives into the chapter, verse by verse! May we all be virtuous and capable women, married or single! (For any men reading, disregard that last sentence.)
Time for bed. My servant girls have the day off tomorrow!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Missionary or Christian? Wrong question.
Well, I'm trying to blog regularly. Let's just decide that "regularly" for me means every once in a while, but more than once a month. Just be warned that this will be a long entry.
There's been a lot going on in the past couple of weeks. Mostly in my mind. One of the great things that Erik and I did together was attend NVision last weekend. It's a mini-seminar focused on Missions and what God's heart is for the world as demonstrated through scripture. This piggy-backed on a conversation that I had with a friend about what a "missionary" really is... and how the words "missionary" and "Christian" should really be used interchangeably. Basically we talked about where we are in life right now and how we're kind of in opposite places but learning the same thing: To be a missionary is to be constantly pursuing a relationship with God and obediently opening our hearts to pray for and love the people and things that He loves; to be available to be used by Him whenever and wherever He wills; to be loving the people around us intentionally and sacrificially; and always to "be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies inside of us. " See how I easily could have used "Christian" in the place of "missionary?" I think what really drove the point home for me is that she was talking about how she doesn't necessarily see herself as a "missionary" but will be viewed as such and is figuring out what that means for everyday living and outlook. I see myself as a missionary, but I'm not necessarily viewed as such because I'm in the middle of the U.S. and not really headed anywhere else anytime soon. The point is, we're both missionaries. We're both Christians. We both have the same responsibilities, power of the Holy Spirit, God-given opportunities and unique strengths...we're just on different continents. If I would put the same intentionality into searching out and loving the lost, seeking God's heart through Scripture and prayer, and pouring myself out as a drink offering... if I would put the same effort and outlook into my daily work, ministry, and marriage as I would if I was a missionary in Turkey...Tibet...Thailand...Timbuktu..., then what joy, fulfillment, and adventure I would have right here in Dorothy Land! And what beautiful glimpses I would get of God's power, miracles, provision, comfort, and saving grace! (Not that I'm just sitting around right now, doing nothing and not seeing anything. I'm not complaining.) But if I truly saw myself as a missionary right here and now, would it not HAVE to be life-changing? For my friend, if she saw herself as a Christian first, a Child of the Most High God, and a soldier of King Jesus - and lived as such - (and I believe she does!), would the label of "missionary" even matter very much or change any of her behavior or thought processes? Questions worth pursuing, I think.
After I'd already headed down this road of thinking, Erik and I went to the NVision seminar. The first night was mostly an overview of all of the verses in the Bible that have to do with God's glory and Name being shown to and proclaimed to and exalted among the Nations. (There are a lot of these verses. I could provide a pretty good list if you want them.) That first session really could leave no one in doubt of God's loving, pursuing, passionate heart for all the world. There was no doubt that whenever a verse talks about God blessing us as His children, it is always with the assumption, if not the command, that we should BE A BLESSING for His Name's sake and ultimately for every tongue, tribe, people, and nation. We are simply conduits of his blessings and must not let them dead-end in us when His purpose of blessing us is that we share His love and Gospel with those who have not yet heard of Him or felt His love. With those things no longer in question, the next question was, "Do you love Him enough to love what and who He loves?" Eep. Again the question of " 'missionary' or 'Christian'? " arises. For many, being a Christian is accepting Christ as Savior, loving God, sharing the Gospel whenever the opportunity falls into their laps, and giving ten percent to the church every Sunday. Nothing wrong with that. Really intense Christians actively look for opportunities to share the Gospel, dabble in missions, and are involved in several ministries... and smile a whole lot. That's great too. Missionaries go to missions meetings, walk on a slightly higher and holier plane than other Christians, pray for people they've never even met in countries they can't even pronounce, elatedly wear clothes from Goodwill, and eventually go to one of those unpronounceable countries for a few years or the rest of their lives. Then they come back every once in a while and show pictures and ask for support, and the Christians and really intense Christians say, "I could never be a missionary. God bless them!" Maybe I'm only speaking from my own experience here, but I bet some of it sounds familiar to anyone reading. What a silly distinction! What we must do as Christians, brothers and sisters in Christ, soldiers of King Jesus, is CAN these ideas of Christian vs Super-Christian vs Missionary vs Super-Missionary. (A Super-Missionary is someone who lets a cannibal hold his or her baby to establish trust with the cannibal and then translates the entire Bible into the cannibal's language.) We need to burn these categories and distinctions and all be Global Christians, which are really just Christians, constantly pursuing a relationship with God and obediently opening our hearts to pray for and love the people and things that He loves; available to be used by Him whenever and wherever He wills; loving the people around us intentionally and sacrificially; and always "ready to give an answer for the hope that lies inside of us. " I don't want to leave the praying for the lost people of the world and for God to send laborers into the harvest to the "missionaries." That is my job and privilege as an obedient Christian who is loving the people and things God loves. I don't want to leave the sending of care packages to foreign missionaries, the giving to missions organizations, and/or the hosting of international students to the "really intense Christians."That is my job and privilege as an obedient Christian who is loving the people and things God loves. And I don't want to leave the "go into all the world and preach the Good News to all the nations" or even the chance to die for the sake of the Gospel to the "Super-Missionaries." That is my job and privilege as a Christian who is loving the people and things God loves... if King Jesus should ask it of me. And He has.
So Erik and I are striving to be Global Christians. Not really intense ones or plain ones or super ones...just ones who are loving and chasing and serving our King enough to love the people and things He loves. Maybe when enough people catch on, we can drop the Global and just be...
Christians, constantly pursuing a relationship with God and obediently opening our hearts to pray for and actively love the people and things that He loves; to be available to be used by Him whenever and wherever He wills; to be loving the people around us intentionally and sacrificially; and always to "be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies inside of us."
Let it be so, King Jesus. Begin with me.
There's been a lot going on in the past couple of weeks. Mostly in my mind. One of the great things that Erik and I did together was attend NVision last weekend. It's a mini-seminar focused on Missions and what God's heart is for the world as demonstrated through scripture. This piggy-backed on a conversation that I had with a friend about what a "missionary" really is... and how the words "missionary" and "Christian" should really be used interchangeably. Basically we talked about where we are in life right now and how we're kind of in opposite places but learning the same thing: To be a missionary is to be constantly pursuing a relationship with God and obediently opening our hearts to pray for and love the people and things that He loves; to be available to be used by Him whenever and wherever He wills; to be loving the people around us intentionally and sacrificially; and always to "be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies inside of us. " See how I easily could have used "Christian" in the place of "missionary?" I think what really drove the point home for me is that she was talking about how she doesn't necessarily see herself as a "missionary" but will be viewed as such and is figuring out what that means for everyday living and outlook. I see myself as a missionary, but I'm not necessarily viewed as such because I'm in the middle of the U.S. and not really headed anywhere else anytime soon. The point is, we're both missionaries. We're both Christians. We both have the same responsibilities, power of the Holy Spirit, God-given opportunities and unique strengths...we're just on different continents. If I would put the same intentionality into searching out and loving the lost, seeking God's heart through Scripture and prayer, and pouring myself out as a drink offering... if I would put the same effort and outlook into my daily work, ministry, and marriage as I would if I was a missionary in Turkey...Tibet...Thailand...Timbuktu..., then what joy, fulfillment, and adventure I would have right here in Dorothy Land! And what beautiful glimpses I would get of God's power, miracles, provision, comfort, and saving grace! (Not that I'm just sitting around right now, doing nothing and not seeing anything. I'm not complaining.) But if I truly saw myself as a missionary right here and now, would it not HAVE to be life-changing? For my friend, if she saw herself as a Christian first, a Child of the Most High God, and a soldier of King Jesus - and lived as such - (and I believe she does!), would the label of "missionary" even matter very much or change any of her behavior or thought processes? Questions worth pursuing, I think.
After I'd already headed down this road of thinking, Erik and I went to the NVision seminar. The first night was mostly an overview of all of the verses in the Bible that have to do with God's glory and Name being shown to and proclaimed to and exalted among the Nations. (There are a lot of these verses. I could provide a pretty good list if you want them.) That first session really could leave no one in doubt of God's loving, pursuing, passionate heart for all the world. There was no doubt that whenever a verse talks about God blessing us as His children, it is always with the assumption, if not the command, that we should BE A BLESSING for His Name's sake and ultimately for every tongue, tribe, people, and nation. We are simply conduits of his blessings and must not let them dead-end in us when His purpose of blessing us is that we share His love and Gospel with those who have not yet heard of Him or felt His love. With those things no longer in question, the next question was, "Do you love Him enough to love what and who He loves?" Eep. Again the question of " 'missionary' or 'Christian'? " arises. For many, being a Christian is accepting Christ as Savior, loving God, sharing the Gospel whenever the opportunity falls into their laps, and giving ten percent to the church every Sunday. Nothing wrong with that. Really intense Christians actively look for opportunities to share the Gospel, dabble in missions, and are involved in several ministries... and smile a whole lot. That's great too. Missionaries go to missions meetings, walk on a slightly higher and holier plane than other Christians, pray for people they've never even met in countries they can't even pronounce, elatedly wear clothes from Goodwill, and eventually go to one of those unpronounceable countries for a few years or the rest of their lives. Then they come back every once in a while and show pictures and ask for support, and the Christians and really intense Christians say, "I could never be a missionary. God bless them!" Maybe I'm only speaking from my own experience here, but I bet some of it sounds familiar to anyone reading. What a silly distinction! What we must do as Christians, brothers and sisters in Christ, soldiers of King Jesus, is CAN these ideas of Christian vs Super-Christian vs Missionary vs Super-Missionary. (A Super-Missionary is someone who lets a cannibal hold his or her baby to establish trust with the cannibal and then translates the entire Bible into the cannibal's language.) We need to burn these categories and distinctions and all be Global Christians, which are really just Christians, constantly pursuing a relationship with God and obediently opening our hearts to pray for and love the people and things that He loves; available to be used by Him whenever and wherever He wills; loving the people around us intentionally and sacrificially; and always "ready to give an answer for the hope that lies inside of us. " I don't want to leave the praying for the lost people of the world and for God to send laborers into the harvest to the "missionaries." That is my job and privilege as an obedient Christian who is loving the people and things God loves. I don't want to leave the sending of care packages to foreign missionaries, the giving to missions organizations, and/or the hosting of international students to the "really intense Christians."That is my job and privilege as an obedient Christian who is loving the people and things God loves. And I don't want to leave the "go into all the world and preach the Good News to all the nations" or even the chance to die for the sake of the Gospel to the "Super-Missionaries." That is my job and privilege as a Christian who is loving the people and things God loves... if King Jesus should ask it of me. And He has.
So Erik and I are striving to be Global Christians. Not really intense ones or plain ones or super ones...just ones who are loving and chasing and serving our King enough to love the people and things He loves. Maybe when enough people catch on, we can drop the Global and just be...
Christians, constantly pursuing a relationship with God and obediently opening our hearts to pray for and actively love the people and things that He loves; to be available to be used by Him whenever and wherever He wills; to be loving the people around us intentionally and sacrificially; and always to "be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies inside of us."
Let it be so, King Jesus. Begin with me.
Monday, February 15, 2010
my first married valentine's day = success
Did I mention that I have a wonderful husband? For Valentine's Day he and our friend Tim sent Tim's wife Jen and me to get a one hour massage in Lawrence at a day spa while they led worship for the kiddies at church. Then they met us after the massages to take us out to lunch! Forget flowers! Massages are most definitely the way to my heart. We had a few hours left in the day before Erik had to go to work, so we spent almost the entire time just watching episodes of Lost on http://www.hulu.com under the covers in our comfy bed. Erik brought me wine and chocolate while we epitomized laziness and pure enjoyment. These days are gifts straight from You, God. Let me never forget to thank You for them. Thank You. And thank You for my sweet Valentine. And don't let him make too much fun of me for being sappy on the internet. Amen.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
~My Cup Overflows~
We led Overflow again last night. Overflow is an extended worship time that we lead at our church every second Friday night of the month. (It's also the way that Erik weaseled his way into my heart. :)) Everything went very smoothly, in spite of the fact that beforehand our MediaShout (all the words and backgrounds for the songs) deleted itself, our soundboard reset itself, and I was so nervous that I thought I was going to pass out! Around three hundred brothers and sisters were singing, praying, confessing, repenting, sharing communion, kneeling at the altar, raising their hands, crying, and most importantly, worshiping God. I think the enemy tried to hinder the Worship he was dreading would take place, but God, as He always does, took care of His worship. I don't know why I still get nervous before I lead. God always, always takes care of His worship.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
If Erik can do it...
It seems Erik has begun to blog. I've resisted for, oh, five years at least, knowing that I have little ability or desire to maintain such intentional forms of communication. Also, I've wondered why I would take the time to write about my life for people who have to read my blog to find out about my life. If you have to read my blog to know what's going on with me, then is it really worth it? That's a toughy, I'm realizing. In this age of Facebook, Twitter, texting, and IM, a phone call often seems like such an overwhelming endeavor. (Am I all alone in this?) I know it's not right, and I'm not saying I'm happy that I normally feel so busy that a phone call or e-mail is just too much to handle... I'm not even trying to excuse my poor communication choices. I guess that this is just my attempt to do - well - better. Maybe this is a form of communication that I'll excel in, and you'll all forget that I don't return your phone calls or messages. ;) I'm going to resist the temptation to feel narcissistic for writing for an "audience" and decide to write first, for me, and second, for anyone who feels like reading what I type is a useful, entertaining, informative, inspiring, or even encouraging use of time. Transcendent over both intended readers, however, is that I will be writing to God. Yes, I will be using names of others I will be addressing, and I will be focusing on some thoughts that are really not going to interest anyone else...but I will always assume that God is "listening" to my "conversations" on here, and it is best if you know that. I'll at least try to capitalize "You" in the middle of the sentence to help tip you off. Then you won't be confused if I say something mid-story like, "Why did You give me a slow metabolism, anyway?" You'll know I'm not really posing the question to you. You'd probably realize that without this disclaimer. You don't really have any power over my metabolism. If you do, then please tell me so I can stop blaming God.
So here goes nothin'! This might be my only post! You and I might be the only ones reading it, Abba! That's okay. I do hope I do well at this, though. I'll definitely need Your help, but if Erik can do it...
So here goes nothin'! This might be my only post! You and I might be the only ones reading it, Abba! That's okay. I do hope I do well at this, though. I'll definitely need Your help, but if Erik can do it...
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